When this incredible adventure began, a such joke baroque and extravagant, I was far from imagining neither the width, nor the incredible destiny which awaited me. In fact, as of the very first adventures, I had concluded some with the one from these mishaps that some among us côtoient once in their life, then, that they try to forget as fast as possible, so much the strangeness can disturb their entourage and generate harmful consequences on their own existence. In short, seen outside, these strange events could not receive the seal of credibility! From there, so that they lead to such a destiny, that which ego the main actor of a cause exceeding very largely the framework of my modest person, that was going to make was hardly foreseeable.
So having always treated the whims of the life with passing and humour, when this adventure began, following an absurd meeting, I made in the same way, by taking the party to laugh at it, because such was my nature. I was far from imagining that improbable beings would take support on acquired or innate features of my own personality to work, with their own way, the first fragments of this account. All this was above suspicion!
PROLOGUE
My fantastic history began thus.
From good morning and like every morning that made God, I leave my dog. It is fantastic maroon Labrador with dress which I invited “Cheerac” to remember it the name of a family of Arizona which lodged us one evening of great storm. I adore the good-naturedness of this race. According to research which I had undertaken at the time, it originating in Canada and would have appeared among Inuits of the area of Labrador, unless it does not act, of Portuguese cod fishermen who introduced it in Newfoundland. However, at the time of its acquisition, a few years ago, I had hesitated a long time between black Austrian Brachet and fire, but its glance of obeying dog had convinced me. Since, I do not regret my choice, it has neither defect, nor redhibitory defect, except the greediness of a curious dog or gourmet. As an attentive Master, I it maintenances with his ideal weight of adult, with the result that it has proud pace near the neighbors and of the young ladies of canine race who covet it glance with each one of our walks. Without a daily monitoring of its food, it would be pasted to want to devour all and anything, like biscuits, chocolates, the remainders of the cassoulet of the meal and which I still know… In short, it is an animal of very good company, one nothing weak but so affectionate and player…
Yesterday, Sunday, during our daily walk, we made a meeting of most astonishing. We were close to this corn field, whose harvest takes place right before the first bragged of winter, there also where enormous pylons EDF balafrent broad milked hideous scrap our beautiful countryside of the Valley of Oise. This place is a magic adventure playground for the kids of the surroundings which have fun there, the fallen night, to light neons by hoisting them all arms tended, towards the sky. The magic of the place lies in the fact that neons very illuminate in an almost unexplainable way thanks to the only proximity of these lines with high voltage, and the prowess for our kids is that they carry out a kind of descent to the torches while running along these corn fields.
We each one in our routine observations, Cheerac, with the tracking of liquid matters and others odorous, me, with were discovered few objects of civilization worthy of intellectual interest. At this moment, we walked on quietly along a little attended path because muddy as soon as it rains three drops, when suddenly, we were nose with nose with two Martians very styles… If, I maintenances, it is possible!
Martians, such as one can discover them in these files UFO méticuleusement filed since the middle of the twentieth century. They were almost caricatural in their physical aspect, greenish, without muscle, the disproportionate eyes, vêtus of an extremely becoming combination and coming from space thanks to their from now on legendary flying saucer to study the Earth. Just located behind them, I foresaw this one only the upper part who took shape through the line of trees which bordered this isolated way. Their machine did not derogate from the rule, so much I guessed it circular and of a flattened form. It did not have any apparent port-hole and was of an almost uniform colour blanchâtre except its top, slightly flat, which shone as if it had been silver plated and polished a such mirror.
These two authentic Martians placed themselves in front of us and started couiner together. But, oddly and without including/understanding a traitor word of their hermetic jargon, I deduced some easily, thanks to their telepathic suggestions, which they wished that I lent a corkscrew for a beverage to them that they indicated me to be of Montrachet white 1992 coldly téléporté of in the Burgundian wine grower!
At the time, stupefied by the strangeness of the request, I did not seek to include/understand their motivation. Martians epicureans, such your servant, amateurs of high-class wines, here are which was unquestionably singular!
Fortunately, I always have on me, since my reunions sommelières, the tools of the perfect oenologist freelance. While I extracted from the pocket of my Jean the tool coveted by the two creatures of space, Cheerac reniflait suspicious the greenish specimens while hopping of the one with the other, abêti, as the day of its two years when it had received his plastic giraffe, favorite toy of the babies as of their first months of existence. Hardly, posed the saving accessory, a superb corkscrew bottle opener of the famous Laguiole mark, in the hand of the chief, finally that I supposed like such, because it raised a more beautiful belt than the other specimen and was expressed with more diplomacy, than they turn us the heels without only one thanks, if not a heard “happy new year”, this time, well distinctly in vibratory and sound waves and in impeccable French!
Heu… “Happy new year?” We were in full August!
My Cheerac dog and me let us observe go up in their flying saucer, without them not carrying out a movement, as if they had been driven by an invisible travelator. Then, once on board, almost instantaneously, the saucer sprang extremely quickly in the sky. All that occurred without a noise, the machine described a hesitant trajectory made up of superb zigzags with closed angles, until their total disappearance in the skies. We remained fixed a good minute after their departure, to look at the sky of any share, if they would return for other menus services. I thought intentionally that there remained to me still the ignition key of my Lancia and a superb lighter plated Cartier Or!
Since, I do not cease telling this history with my close relations. To see their constipées mines and their hardly outlined smiles, I think that it is high time to draw a final feature on these ineptitudes from divine beings come from space to save our beautiful planet of an imminent ecological disaster, or even, to stop Net all the conflicts started by our pitiful politicians goes-T war (bearded autocrats and oppressors of all edges).
Finally, I extremely surprised and am disappointed, they are very ordinary beings, very right goods with siroter of white Montrachet, to amuse my dog and with chaparder my superb gift of the Father's Day year 1996.
A dirty blow of two space truffles…
I did not think any more of re-examining them, I had even decided to change the course of our daily walk. I.e., to pass by the stands of the shooting to the arc, to skirt the main road on the narrow grassy way in edge of wood communal where one meets sometimes roe-deers. The problem of this pastoral route lies in the fact that my dog loves too much the roe-deers! But…
Since our meeting with the two creatures of space, I noted an enormous change in my relations with Cheerac. My superb Labrador of pleasant company, which allows me, inter alia, to breathe of the morning fresh air, and in this canicular period, that did not appear a luxury but a need. These walks also enabled me to actuate part of my muscles which would not have any activity differently. However thus, this one was always also player and affectionate, on this side, nothing had changed and it was so much better. But, yesterday evening, whereas I looked at a televisual silliness, like too often alas, I have surprised it in full reflexion (very unexpected thing…). It was lying on the couch close to me, its wet muzzle posed on my calves and its eternal air of beaten dog contemplating its Master. Eh well, you will not believe me but I seized exactly word-with-word his thought.
“What he is idiot this Ardusson, you ace not impression that he transfers us in the Jacques Murtain, you?”
I was petrified! That made me funny impression hear my dog in full metaphysical thought. I was surprisingly connected to his intellectual faculties and realized only at this precise moment that it was equipped with a brain, and that this one was much vaster than I had imagined it before. Blow, I answered him:
“the Cheerac farm… Snow melted, will air you the bronchi in the garden!” Cheerac does not like snow…!
It is there that Môssieur starts to yawn to uncouple the jaws of them.
“You believe yourself funny, it makes at least 20 more degrees outside! Do not forget to leave the dustbin the kitchen this evening, it been able… I will lie down!!!” Add it, again télépathiquement, and without a glance towards its worthy Master.
By looking at my dog pattouner interminably his cushion by describing perfect circles in order to settle comfortably for the night, I had this reflexion “but, from where he knows Jacques Murtain, this dog, it is only 4 years old!”
Our second meeting of the 5th type!
Cheerac and me naps turned over, day for day this Sunday morning, at the same place and same hour, 9:05 mn to be precise, like irresistibly thorough towards the place of our first extraterrestrial contact. An interior voice repeated me inlassablement these words “we are there, we are there!”. They were indeed there, luminous, floating with ten centimetres of the bits of grass and awaited us as if they had inward conviction that we would come!
It was obvious that these two beings come from space had nothing to do with the land race, even in its ethnological diversity, they were infinitely different. Their eyes were disproportionate and hypnotic, their dye was green blanchâtre, their craniums much more imposing than ours and the body reduced to the strict minimum, no matter what a little bedonnant for largest and without a hair apparent muscle.
The chief with the beautiful belt étincelante greets us. Cheerac rather heavily throws overflowing of joy, and, towards smallest which does not move of a iota, in addition to a grimace very expressive arrival disfiguring its face.
“We have something to show you!”.
They without the least movement of lips as to our preceding meeting announce to us. Of an elegant gesture, they beckoned to us to approach them. These some steps surreptitiously riveted us with their invisible travelator, then, they are completely motionless which we were aspired towards the flying object, whose threshold of access had clearly materialized in line of sight…
The vessel made about a score meters in diameter. The very luminous interior was almost completely deserted of any furniture, object or instrument! According to the short explanations of that which I had indicated “the chief”, the saucer would be equipped with a rotor turning at speed of light in a vacuum chamber forming a large circle of circular section around the vessel. With the center of the machine, a kind of strongly radiating crystal would be used as cockpit although no access was detectable there. The torus would give temporal coherence to the vessel, the crystal would ensure undulatory coherence!
This technology was well too advanced with my taste to tear off me the least comment, when well even it had acted of a vague opinion in connection with the stylism of the thing. It would make it possible to realize, indifferently, of the voyages in the past and the future. Do not ask any me more, I had not compared anything to their scientist speech and me stays satisfied to politely agree to all their sympathetic nerves explanations dictated a priori by rules of pure user-friendliness.
After this introduction, they invited me to sit me around a circular table accompanied by its three seats, appeared suddenly in front of us, as emerged of the ground. Hardly sitted, my splendid corkscrew and ten bottles of the most prestigious vintages appeared, there still, by magic in front of us. By scanning the labels, I discovered a German wine of ice, exceptional Italian Barolo, a Yquem Castle of best fermented, Ausone 1996 which as everyone knows, is to it one of best Saint-Émilion, Pingus 97 (resulting from a famous Spanish field universally), Penfolds “Cabernet Australian Sauvignon” of 1996, Lafite-Rotschild of 96, Pauillac of world famous… In short, that great wines, friends!
But how were they also impassioned and pointed as regards wine? I did not have the least idea of it! Only one observation, I held in me, a cultural capital and a wine solid formation which enabled me to appreciate such a choice of fabulous beverages.
Cheerac, disgusted of such an amount of attention in my only connection, had left renifler each piece the flying bowl in the search of a female print.
You me will believe if you want, but these two gourdasses space had not even known to actuate the corkscrew and we were, again, their providence. Perhaps a lack of muscles or tact to handle it. Certain human do not arrive there, then… Why not, of the Martians in goguette!
I thus extracted religieusement the stopper from the first of the bottles coldly téléportées under my eyes. It was about prestigious Château Yquem which I handled with large respect to carry out the service of it. I poured the invaluable beverage, successively in the three wine-tasting glasses, appeared at the same moment that I seized the extraordinary bottle. The two creatures hastened to empty their glasses. Me, I was already elsewhere, enjoying and mixing with amazement and extase this immense masterpiece of the French vine growing. Its bouquet exaltait the typical example of “roast” which characterizes very large Sauternes and whose Yquem is the most flattering expression. Vanilla notes on very ripe botrytized grape fruit bottom. In mouth, an astonishing freshness with pineapple flavours, of tobacco, of vanilla, and whose apotheosis was illustrated by a length in impressive mouth. Teleportation of had not started anything qualities of the masterpiece, it was an obviousness. In fact, I was with the paradise! When I opened the eyes again, the two space rowdy characters disfigured me of a deliberately impatient and irritated air.
Then suddenly, they burst of laughing to begin again themselves at once and to indicate to me, authoritatively, the following bottle. Hardly given of my emotions, I hastened to extract the stopper from the Castle Ausone and I poured of it full glass with each creature of space who examined my actions with a certain pleasure. Its dress was of a moderately constant red, with some orange reflections. The nose was fine: cooked fruits, guignolet, new leather and even of pencil lead. With the evolution, very an other register was posted already, of the cut flowers, black truffle, morel. It made me think of Pomerol. The mouth was suave, of a great distinction, on fruits compotes and flaveurs of under wood. Tannins very present, they were molten and tightened, the final was smoked on notes of exotic wood and the… When that I finished my tasting, my strange companions fixed me, this time with curiosity in the glance, but imperturbable, the finger directed again impérialement towards the following bottle. I wondered sincerely if they took time to appreciate these masterpieces with their right value!
Barolo released a strong nose of violet and blackcurrant and made Côte of Nights very. The first mouthful was very rough, then extremely dries finally. The unit delivered an expression between a wine of Bordeaux in its structure and its depth and Burgundy as for its aromatic pallet. Then after some agitations and swivels exerted on my glass, the beverage took another form in mouth, completely round and abounded in unquestionable fruits such Coast of nights. It was indisputably a high-class wine of guard.
Tasting proceeded, in the same way, for the following vintages, with a pace of horse to the gallop and my spirit of observation as my concentration started to be scrambled as of the fourth bottle. But I forced myself to hold the infernal rate/rhythm until the last wonder of the batch, because I said to me, never my life, I will not on the occasion to start again such a tasting.
I nevertheless had the impression that they were severely soaked when all the bottles were emptied. It is in particular, at this time, which I learned from the one of them, that they had come in infringement on ground to know all the primitive pleasures of our incipient civilization and, that in fact, the chief with the beautiful belt was called “Enkorun”, it was the male and the small “Keleotrenoronpa”, the female. Which funny of names, it is not?
And then, suddenly… my neurons were enlisèrent in a deep coma.
Well later, one found all both on the couch of our living room, me, my corkscrew with the hand and Cheerac an unknown object in the mouth. Television was lit, Sasha Druquer and Pedro Machias sirupaient serious with the screen. It as usual, had passed the first second of the show, a mortal trouble worthy of the worst soporific evenings of antan where the ORTF, expensive with the De Gaulle General, accompanied us until 22:30 before the extinction by media fires by the single French chain by then. Fortunately at this beginning of XXIe century, us, French, briskly let us can zapper on a small score of numeric channels and for little which one has a subscription TV by satellite, all the chains of the world are with our range.
Reached of a deep trouble to the sight of this sad spectacle, I looked at my watch and I noted amazed that our absence had lasted more than six hours!?!
Our stomachs shouting famine, I decided to be occupied with my daily occupations. To prepare a collation, to take a good shower and to hope that the next night, according to the proverb, would carry me council by clearing up me the memory.
Shortly after festival…
Alas, nothing made there, by starting this new day, I did not cease questioning me on what I had been able well to do, lasting more than six hours, at the insane ones of space. This memorable tasting had not had, to in no case, exceed the hour! In fact, it is my nice Cheerac doggie, scientist and being expressed télépathiquement recently with its Master, who explained me the business. He was tapi in the vessel, lasting this famous maintenance and had been able to observe all the scene. According to him, after the memorable meeting of pochetronnage collective, I suddenly fell asleep, helped by the divine beverages and especially using Starac22 a powerful sleeping pill natural of the planet “Thefun”. It was introduced into my last glass by the small green men at the time when my clearness started to waver. During five hours, I will have been used as guinea-pig with the space Miss. The pauvrette had to test more than one hundred of foufounettes various and varied to adapt to my thing. Ah yes, I forgot to say to you that according to Cheerac, these extraterrestrial is apparently assembled in kit!
In fact, they have with leisure spare parts if one of them would be damaged due to outdatedness or following an unspecified organic accident.
These two truffles are thus immortal… That made cold in the back learn that!
But good, let us be trustful! I checked this morning, with great attention, and apparently, I do not miss anything. Moreover, I did not have my daily morning erection!
On the other hand, which more intrigued me in this adventure, it is the object which I had located in the mouth of Cheerac, just at the moment of our rehabilitation in our living room whereas we were face on television. Object that I finally found this morning, under its cushion, by doing the housework. On the face more the punt, one can read, between various unknown and not indexed inscriptions our erudite linguistic works, a strange mention: “Universal Translator… time postnapoléonienne” as well as a mention certainly acting as a mark in the name of “Jadzia”. Here thus briefly described the antiquity concealed by Cheerac in the archaeological window of the two space rowdy characters.
The brothel starts…
Helped of my faithful Cheerac, the machine concealed with the strange creatures, starts to reveal its secrecies, it would act of a translator of intergalactic languages comprising 250000 spoken languages through the universe, with advanced functions of local idioms. The apparatus is maintained at a constant temperature of 17,8 degrees centigrade, an expert neighbor out of scientific thermometers and other temperature sensors, climatologist of trade, assure me the precision of it thereafter. It does not have any button of operation, if not some zones of slightly different colors. By pressing one of them, a kind of screen appears instantaneously and is posted in the vacuum with the vertical of the case. It is a screen of very beautiful dimensions, size of my Japanese television set and whose image is of a phenomenal precision. While at the same time they ravel quickly, this information are assimilable easily by the user! What makes it possible to think that it would not be about an ordinary posting, such as one manufactures them on Earth. The machine is able to synthesize an unknown language starting from some sentences and to reconstitute of them another using some parameters still difficult to encircle. As I have my sharpening, my crockery, my projection with the neighbor and my household to be finished, I let Cheerac decode the machine. Apparently, he has fun like insane, he is dialoguing télépathiquement with Chouny and Ragnagna our couple of mouse of laboratory. He presently came to say to me that there was water in gas in the rodents and that Miss Ragnagna wished to have her personal cage, because the pregnancies every twenty days with one obsessed of the bottom unable to marry it, that does not interest it at all like future prospect. I was far from me to doubt that the rodents had concerns identical to us human!
Two days later, hardly raised, here is a second neighbor who comes to complain about Cheerac. They do not ring with my door then inveigh me with courtesy, one of them does not want any more but Cheerac safety, even politely, the morning. According to the other, Môssieur would organize, under its windows, of the wild and noisy meetings with all the canine and cat-like gente of the district. Already certain unusual behaviors would have been observed. Moreover, they have affirmed all, the animals have an extremely odd behavior for a few days. According to this same close, Julie, the small white she-cat of Gondrand, would have opened the refrigerator to be useful, with the girlfriends of passage, the family turkey of the weekend acquired in the best delicatessen than one has in the area.
To close the table of these delirious festivities, there is ten hamsters belonging to the small Clotilde which build a fallout shelter against the house of the Bertrand, a sympathetic nerve couple of pensioners, its neighbors.
A futuristic technology fallen from the sky…
As you can guess it, in the one week space, the effects of the universal translator inopportunely appeared irreversible, like if the discovery of the language by our small favorite companions, had been accompanied by a radical transformation of their intelligence with the immediate access to the knowledge presupposed acquired and united with any use of the machine.
Thus, for this single week and apparently thanks to our various pets, we have had a concrete guitoune 30 height meters, established at the entry of the houses with terrestrial, air and even galactic radars (the coordinates of many planets would be registered there). Splendid a three height meters two-tone low wall, girds the suburban unit. Some DCA automatics with protons made their appearance in front of the houses of Philips, Billgates and Vieillefrance. Already, one observes a crowd amazed with the accesses of the residence. The curious ones come in family, sandwiches with the hand, perched on the branches of the plane trees around, they contemplate to satiety the least local activity and I can say to you that the spectacle is imposing. I did not see setting up any of these installations, all appeared in only one night, then were invested by our pets! Pollux, the Breton spaniel of Mr Touvier, and LISA, the bitch of Mrs Thomas, become inseparable throw peanuts to them to spend time between two projections.
For the occasion, Cheerac was made build a sympathetic nerve small second home at the bottom of my garden. It also engaged a majordomo very style, splendid the dalmatien Miss Laurens and a cooker “Excentric” Labrador coated a little admittedly with people who live to the 45 of my street, to saying of Cheerac. The real unknown ones for me, which interested me little in the vicinity until now. It should be said to you that no human, besides me, was in contact with the incredible thing of space, also I suspect Cheerac of having seriously misused its new toy near his friends during its multiple walks in solo.
Me, I say it to you, that badly will finish this business!
The cut was full, next Sunday I will alert the two space gangsters urgently. They will find me well an easy way to limit the damage of this devil of machine builder, but terribly devastator in terms of relation of vicinity by hoping for, of this interview, a return to the normal any business ceasing.
World cups outside!
Too much late… The news was spread like a powder trail, we all is consigned and compelled to “medical” forty for reasons as relevant as “disorder with the law and order”, behaviors except standard, and many other reasons or pretexts scientific. The advertisement was diffused with the loud-hailer, very early this morning, by the Prefect in person, protect by a disproportionate cord from mobile guards. This measurement took effect instantaneously and we all were confined of office, for one 40 days declared period. This safeguard measure applied to our only residence made up of a hundred houses without much standing. The zone was qualified illico “secret defense”, of the welded panels, labellized “danger zone, of military experimentation” were set up all around the perimeter of our small island of houses. With the result that I will not be able to meet, Sunday, both insane space.
Currently, of the men in white combination and mask of survival saunter in the alleys of the residence, armed with their technology of scientific Pygmies of the 21st century, seeking more to impress our consciences that to solve the insoluble one. The gun of a tank points the window of my kitchen. Surprised in middle of the night, we could not use the batteries with the proton which from now on are covered by military and examined tents with meticulousness by the best military scientists, all confused countries.
But what do I see? The President of the United States, accompanied in person by some sizes of the CIA move towards my house! But where are our famous French elected officials?
“Hello, President!” I with the threshold of my door say to him politely by tightening my hand to him very civilly. He had certainly been guided, here, by my neighbors, because all knew that the first signs of this radical transformation had appeared there by the incredibly extravagant behavior of my dog.
- It is enough, I do not have time to lose in courtesies! Its visit was not protocolar, nor official, but all the same, which unsuited language, I say myself annoyingly disconcerted.
- Where do you hide your laboratories?
- But we do not have a laboratory your holiness!
- You take to us for the comic ones?
- Not… your honor!
- Good… you! Excavate everywhere and find to me this aberrant technology” Orders the international cow-boy.
- Please your magnificence, it is that I have my shop to open, me!
- Will have You 1500 euros per day of compensation… that suits you small French!
- Heu… yes of course.
- You could add some a little more because I intended to remake my ceiling and…
- Be hard for You in businesses you, but I like that! Makes me the President of the United States.
- Good, goes for 2000 euro-day, but I warn you, one will come later to be useful oneself in your shop and will have you interest to make us package-gifts without balking!
I happy and would be filled to accomodate you in my humble shop, Large-Master!
A short mental calculation announced me that the business went up to 80.000 euros for the whole of the business days of forty. Sacrebleu! I feel that I will like my small forced holidays.
A long silence settles then, and knowing only to say to my hosts:
- You like the bretzels large Master? I open a box of it to you?”
What I had says! Why this sudden anger, I felt that environment went down again of another notch whereas the innocent offer had appeared to me from the enticing start. While the President of the first State of planet made his mug of cake, I looked at, with spite, his men to reverse my drawers, to grope my small well arranged businesses. They will not find anything here, I am reassured by it.
Fortunately, our canine and cat-like buddies had had time to cut off themselves in their underground galleries to organize resistance. Doggies and small she-cats all, learnedly educated by knowledge of another millenium, they really did not know with which they had to make these dedicated American!
One was in soup to the neck…
Thus, our small resistant to four legs, had found nothing of better than to make jump, during the night, all the places invested by the personnel most qualified by the international authorities. According to the comments which circulated among the owners closest to the reinvested installations, all that had occurred calmly and no soldier or scientist had undergone least violence thanks to malicious subterfuges planned by our friends with four legs (of the festive invitations at the inhabitant: gastronomical discoveries, processions of fine linen room, concerts, spectacles). However, I felt to come up at the end of the tunnel, of this pitiful snub to the enemy inquisitor, at least, a Third world war. Our DCA with protons, not having never been useful, were again given in activity. Pollux and LISA this morning informed me that secret installations were available under ground. Increasingly stuck like glues these deux-là.
Therefore, to summarize, following the reconquest of our residential territory, here these new installations. With the advertisement of those, I put to strongly suspect our two cracked space to have largely contributed there:
The “south-eastern tunnel” also said “quack”, accessible starting from the cellar from Vieillefrance, led directly to the Elysium. A small propelled train with concentrated hydrogen transported the passengers, in nine stopwatch minutes and in the most total silence, until the kitchens élyséennes close to the cold room, where the spotted calf's heads of the French President are usually stored Cheerac (a name of dog for a president, they are not serious, finally one does not go épiloguer on top). From now on, agent of knowledge of thousands of civilizations much more advanced than ours, it was rightly that my dog, directed, a such 3eminence grise, the presidential cabinet of the first man of the French Republic. Since its arrival, France potentially profited from a state-of-the-art technology to make fade Russian and American joined together, and this only, thanks to my doggie become erudite since these events!
Which social rise for a dog which could not hardly give the papatte to its Master, a few weeks ago of that.
Thank you the insane ones for space. I will revaudrai you that on the occasion.
A second Tunnel Southern, known as also “Spanking-Trolls”, was available to the foot of the pylon of the community aerial. This one was accessible after recognition from the digital fingerprints (all the inhabitants of the residence were memorized there). This tunnel, definitely more extended, led directly to the Town hall of Bordeaux. One never knows, in preparation for an occupation of part of the country as in 1940! It was equipped with automatic coaches driven by an extremely advanced and noncomprehensible technology by our thin knowledge the land ones. The way of 595 kilometers was carried out very exactly of 22 minutes 33 seconds and 98 hundredths!
Here where we were of this indescribable adventure!
As curiosity, this morning, I borrowed this second tunnel to make my market, Place Quincunxes, accompanied by Marianne my charming neighbor, because I can carry out the useful one for pleasant when it is needed. I benefitted from it to make a hair of window shopping street Holy-Catherine. Of my hotel vis-a-vis the town hall, Marianne and me, believed to see my Cheerac dog leaving a limousine to the French colors, accompanied by sufficient Jouppey and of the go-getter Baretcosi, enemies political not such a long time ago.
The journalists of the whole world, alerted by all this media agitation and this sudden daftness militaro-policy, duly indicated by our closer villagers, compare from now on our residence, encircled quotas of international soldiers, at a village the irreducible Gallic one, experts in magic potion, who such formerly, defied César and his legions. Alas, we are not in a cartoon, it acts of a reality extrèmement palpable even if she takes extravagant forms, in this Thursday August 12, 2004 and periphery of a small town of the Valley of Oise. Gis of the Uncle Sam, accompanied by various European military bodies, replaced the Romans of yesterday, the city and its surroundings are completely invested by military units specialized as well as mobile controls of production and troops of journalists TV and Press of the four corners of planet.
The crowned object, so much coveted by the Uncle Sam…
The enemy, from whom it was necessary to protect the holder object from the universal knowledge, was for us, initially, Gis of the Uncle Sam, Masters of world geopolitical balance, then all the other nations which coveted with greed our extremely futuristic military knowledge. They were not to in no case to fall on this capital object. One can easily measure the immense danger which all this new technological knowledge represents if they are placed in the hands of sorcerer's apprentices who would exploit some that a piece at warlike ends. There are all in memory this mythological box which contained all the evils of humanity. Our crowned relic, source of a universal knowledge, should not in no case to become diabolic “a Pandora's box”.
I must specify here, that after being confronted with this incredible object, that this one appeared to me, with the use, being much more than one simple apparatus to assimilate languages. That they were land or besides, the training of these various languages was only one misleading outline of the real capacities of the thing. Each individual who handles this miraculous object becomes immediately the agent of all the cultures present and last having remained across the universe. The subject then takes possession of the sum of this knowledge, without any intellectual effort and can then exploit it with its own way by including/understanding some all subtleties. Myself, and modestly, after only a few short minutes of awkward handling, I realized that I had started to distinguish and include/understand not less than 5000 land or extra-land source languages. In same time, I had acquired literary and scientific knowledge of these respective civilizations. My brain had been reprogrammed instantaneously at a vertiginous speed without any disorder on my memory, nor on my thin last knowledge. On the other hand, my intellectual abilities had carried out a vertiginous good as if my brain had been just reorganized entirely in a new optimal structure. So much so that I am currently able to recite of a feature any page of a book or the complete newspaper of the day before, without any effort as a vulgar photocopier which duplicates layers to satiety. Mazette! Me which suffered so much in my youth to succeed of unhappy university examinations, here me is able to make a success of three consecutive aggregations fingers in the nose and by sirotant cocktails on the beach.
Thus, the public, the Press with which one can nothing hide, in short, the whole world, were impassioned for these new technologies achievements come besides and which emerged in only one night. Nothing stopped them to appease their curiosity. Since our vertiginous good in this technology of the future, we were the permanent prey of a deployment of various strategies, tricks varied to bribe us least information. With the sight of these avant-gardists achievements, our radars galaxiens, our DCA with protons…, created, at an incredible speed, by ordinary citizens (as they could logically think it, even even more improbably, by familiar animals), they suspected well that an immense knowledge had been propagated in our microcosm. But which appearance and which form that did it cover? They did not have the least idea of it! Neither the detached scientists, neither the Press, neither the close populations had the smallest index on the origin of this fulgurating technological control nor of confusing the speed of our achievements. These innovations of another millenium were for them objects of investigation comparable so that had been formerly the search of Graal, here, circumscribed with our tiny territory. However, this research was without much hope for them. Indeed, only the US army, car-proclaimed gendarme of planet, had arrived sufficiently forces some to be essential and direct this research.
This word “Graal” very often returned in the comments of the majority of the media, writings and audio-visual. At the origin of the word, this famous tale called “Perceval or the tale of Graal” written by Christian of Troyes at the 12th century. The knights of the Roundtable were in search of Graal (the Saint Chalice). While working in this interminable search, each one of them was supposed to receive the personal revelation, that of the light of Christ in exchange of the initial chaos which reigned around their poor wretch pagan existence and pecheress. This Celtic mythology, struck much the spirits and perdure still in certain best-sellers and in the cinematographic form the trilogy following the example of “the lord of the rings”. One can even find references in physics, where one qualifies the theory of great unification (Theory of the whole) of “Graal of the physicists”. Like besides, in genetics where the comprehension of the mechanism, by which the genes control the aspect of the bodies, would be qualified the “Graal of the geneticists “.
Since the mediatization with excess of our the least action, we profit, on television, of innumerable cultural emissions declining with profusion the set of themes of the searches of the graal or the mysteries of disappeared civilizations: Atlantis, ground of Driven, the famous crowned triangle of Quebec, the civilization of Akalal, etc….
Cheerac my admirable doggie with dress maroon, was today, the single agent of first real Graal of humanity. The crowned object was placed in a completely dissimulated inviolable enclosure outside world. A series of galleries were dug under ground, up to 450 meters of depth, were matched very many dead ends and traps, the such meanders of an Egyptian pyramid. This exceptional setting with the variation made its access impossible by any average known physique of the land ones. In addition, this “graal” was kept permanently by thirty sworn in priests, of the pitbulls very races having received each one the authorization to carry the supreme weapon “the disintegrator talmoïdien”. A frightening weapon whose operating range is almost infinite, having an extremely fine precision of the selectivity of the targets to reach. Lastly, the weapon did not send a projectile, but produced a destroying ray inevitably reaching its target.
Calm dish among land rebels.
Today, in the residence of irreducible Gallic, it strictly occurred anything, with share, some lawn mowers in activity and of the cries of enthusiastic kids, because they daily play in the street since these “militaro-medical” forty which deprive them of school and duties, what a terrible punishment!
I benefitted from it to make a superb sleep in. Not having more shop to open during several weeks. My famous bookshop, go permanent intellos, dreamers and glandeurs talented, is from now on the only shop of the shopping malls to be raised, closed curtain, a superb sign:
“Closed due to work
Reopening envisaged on October 1, 2004 ".
Constrained by these events of first order, we all are become, in the enclosure of this small marked residence of secret seal the “defense”, of the idlers of luxury, which leave us an insane time to organize resistance against the invaders, the curious ones and the sworn in profiteurs.
At this stage, it is important to recall that all the residents of our tiny fortress are not placed with the same sign, much do not understand what arrives to them, for the good reason that they never were in contact with our divine graal. The mission that I had assigned, inter alia, was to inform them in a precise way about the origin of the radical modifications which they daily noted on their familiar animals, then to reassure them as for the technological equipment which flowered in the residence. Lastly, I tried to insist on the good side of the thing, the French government had gone guaranteeing of our careers and we received all our wages thanks to an exceptional bottom resolved by the Ministry for the Economy and the Budget. In order to render comprehensible this message, I frequently organized briefings at the inhabitant. Tomorrow evening, time being lenient, we all will be in the garden of Lavoix to discuss the report/ratio which we could have with our respective families.
Therefore, this morning, hardly my swallowed breakfast, I was occupied with my new occupations, it is true with a different way of doing. Some very new tickets, reproduced to perfection thanks to our enormous technological advance, rendered to me an appreciable service in the achievement of a dream of kid: a splendid jaguar, the last models “X-type” equipped with an engine v6 of 3 liters and with a living room Louis XVI entirely engraved and gilded, covered with a green fabric decorated of flowers “bois de rose”.
The secret tunnels prove practical diablement and are used to satiety by the whole of our neighbors. The instruction never not to make travel of other individuals who are not our residence, is respected with the letter. Outside, it is always the military blockade and henceforth of barbed solids surround our peaceful district. We became for them an extremely dangerous bunch able to threaten balance of our beautiful planet. A quite contradictory nation in the application of its great principles of a moral nature, worst excesses being often justified by a beautiful speech, a hand on the heart, the Bible in the other.
Sunday, I will only go to the meeting held on the two insane ones of space, Cheerac being from now on injoignable because of a timetable of Prime Minister and an interminable list courtesans to be satisfied.
For my part, more and more, the following questionings, badgered me:
- Were they with the current of the turning which the events were going to take?
- Which use had they made, them, of the universal translator?
- Which is really?
Here are many interrogations which, since the beginning of this rocambolesque adventure, accumulating the bizarreries in any kind, tapped me the spirit in an obsessional way.
Two extraterrestrial in goguette…
Since the US inquisitor imposed his ridiculous blockade to us, very left motorized had become impossible in the residence. We were supplied by military droppings with the doubtful contents. In any event, we had decided never not to touch with this food. We exclusively nourished ourselves fresh produce, acquired on the beautiful Aquitanian or Parisian markets thanks to our two unknown privat lines of the invader.
It is in this very heavy atmosphere that I decided to borrow, under the influence of a miraculous deduction unless it is not about a telepathic suggestion, the “Spanking-Trolls” towards Bordeaux to go to the meeting of my two extraterrestrial and if possible, to re-examine occasion consequently my nice doggie which I missed much!
These voyages in futuristic environment are always also impressive. It is in a personalized comfort, worthy of the largest de luxe hotels, than the way is carried out. Reviews, coolings, music, receiving TV personnel as well as a crowd of gadgets of relieving are there at will. Hardly sitted in our armchairs as much aerodynamic than comfortable, than an invaded bluish light all the cockpit. As each tip truck is independent, the departure is immediate as soon as the traveller or that the family supplements settled there. It is in a perfect silence and without only one jolt that we travel. I benefitted from it to serve a small goblet of Champagne to me and to devote myself to the reading of the one of my favorite newspapers.
Arrived at destination where we unload, as usual on this line, by an hidden door, in the public toilets of the Town hall of Bordeaux, Dames side. I greet, with the passage, some extremely courroucées young women that I would have adapted myself their appointed space and I move vigorously towards the reception rooms. One never knows, perhaps would see I my companion of yesterday in company of a political careerist of reputation or an important member of the government.
You hardly appear that crossed the threshold of the first living room, where a reception took place, which a couple came immediately to my meeting. The man resembled to me curiously. Oddly, I had noted that all my imperfections of human being had been gummed. The man also measured seven good centimetres of better than me.
Flabbergasted, I stopped Net, on the marble obviously coldly washed, by disfiguring my improved clone. But, it is especially towards his/her partner that my dubitative glances went, this charming person represented my female ideal, a complete phantasm of flesh and bone, moulded in an incredible evening gown. The unit would have deserved three gold Hots in only one ceremony in Cannes and, undoubtedly, the congratulations of Jean-Paul Gaultier for this vestimentary originality.
“Let us go to this table, to discuss calmly!” My Coeurmitien clone by indicating hand a table relatively isolated close to a majestic house plant tells me.
Hardly sitted at their sides that this last answers, of continuation, with all my interrogations of the moment.
“Your astonishment is natural, my dear Coeurmit… We covered biological holograms, which modify our external appearance in order to melt us in the mass of human and especially to enable us to taste with pleasures hidden in our collective memory since millenia”.
“I see!” I made filled with wonder.
“Your transformation really is successful!” I added.
“And all this thanks to you, my expensive!”
“How that, thanks to me?”
“A few days ago, you wondered about your six hours amnesia. And well will know that this wasted time was not useless, from now on we have all the three same genetic inheritance. In fact, our organic constitution enables us to have some several, of which yours since this famous intervention. I hope that you will excuse us, our control not having been very honest”.
While Enkorun made me all these revelations, I launched glances gloutons on his partner.
“You wonder until where this hologram goes, isn't this?”
Release me the celestial creature in answer to my lustful glance. As soon as known as, as soon as made, and without the least requirement of my share, the dress disappears in a flash and its nudity, which I do not discover, alas that partially, suddenly makes me tressaillir. My language proceeds out of my mouth like a Persian carpet and comes to land on my glass which explodes like a multicoloured rain of hail on the table. The two space accomplices look at, amused like babies, the pieces of crystal scattered around them. I benefitted from it to discreetly give my eyes which had disunited their orbits of origin. More awkward still, my small very sensitive noodle did not finish any more lengthening and growing bigger, the such nose of Pinocchio. The outgrowth made one by one jump the buttons of my Jean, then the table rose of ten good centimetres and ends up reversing the little of still intact objects on my two neighbors. Both are reflected with laughing at good heart as of the children who have just made a good joke. Their magic thus did not have any limit, say itself I afterwards. These two beings are really incredible!
Once our calmed spirits, the taken again discussion its rights.
“Do not be afraid of the reaction of these Americans, we control the least of their warlike excess. Their technology is so summary that even most powerful of their atomic bomb will not make more damage than a damp squib”.
“We know that you miss your dog, but will know that in this scenario, which today still appears very obscure to you and out of any logic, he plays an extremely important part. Moreover, for crédibiliser its interventions, we changed his Q.I to 260. In this way, with the mine of knowledge which it acquired of famous “the Graal”, such as you name it, no scientific personality or current policy will be able to put it in failure”.
“Since this conversation and our small joke of schoolboy, yourself, come to gain 50 points of Q.I, with your preceding handling of the “graal”, your intelligence quotient which we had quantified to 122 during our first examination, has just stabilized itself to 230. Thus, as a man of dialogue and principal land partner, you will not have to redden any more in the fashionable conversations. Your spirit will be as sharp as a gazelle and you will benefit definitely better from your new knowledge”.
“We must also acknowledge you, dear Coeurmit, that at the beginning of our meeting, we had not come on Earth for our personal satisfaction like we had claimed. We are here for a reason much more important. In addition, we chose to privilege the development of the animals of your residence for better marking the spirits by the extravagance of the situation and more reinforcing the media impact of an awakening of the people of the Earth. These technological escapades arranged in your residence serve very an other causes. You will know some more very soon!!! ”
This last sentence had seemed to me a true enigma and its range escaped to me completely. But it continued its explanations with as well eagerness as I raised in the immediate future, neither the strangeness, nor the range of the matter.
“The object that we placed at the disposal of your companion “Cheerac” and that you improperly call a “graal” is a single part in the universe. Even if you take a great care there and that its protection proves to be effective, ourselves, supervise it assiduously. Any displacement in a radius of 1000 meters around this case is controlled by our radars. We can, if necessary, to guide with the millimetre close one or the other of the thirty disintegrators, entrusted to your “priests sworn in”, on an unspecified intruder who would wish to seize some. The “Matrixhumanoid”, such is its true name, is our most invaluable good, it was bequeathed to us during our creation. All our knowledge comes from it! But have patience, soon will more know you”
“My dear Coeurmit, I give up you with my wife who would have some favours to ask you…!?!”.
It was a beautiful day, I were going to lay down me…
I had spent one night memorable with “Keleotrenoronpa “, woman who had all the assets of femininity: humour, charms, spirit, complicity, expertise and grace. Its sexual needs were so immense that it was necessary me to consider minimum forty-eight hours of sleep, in order to recover my spirits and my health.
I can affirm you that the prowesses of the biological hologram are confusing of realism. In fact, the subject is completely reorganized interior like outside, only the brain is isolated from the hologram. It decides itself of which envelope it wants to be avoided, by activating one of the genetic inheritances stored in a specific storage area. To please to me and multiply by ten to it his, my celestial partner had changed three times. One in “Arexpopulus” woman of a very distant civilization, geographically and temporally of ours, but with the quasi human pace, except this third centre and this reversed basin. Then in “Calefaity” a creature definitely more smiling and expert that the first. And finally, icing on the cake in “Marilyn” retorts exact idol of my youth such as it was at the time of “Darling, I feel to renovate” turned in 1952 or “the men prefer the blondes” left in 1953. With these two traditional, one sees it for the first time as a platinum blonde: a trademark, which it will not leave any more from now on. Will know, friendly readers, that for the traditional man, the blonde is a permanent phantasm. Moreover in Quebec, they are not mistaken there, the word “blonde” is a term to designate a woman in general whatever the color of its hair. Ah… of people full with good sense, these Inhabitants of Quebec!
You sadden, expensive land, the biological hologram is not integrated in our human body. Our brain does not have this famous zone, a kind of three-dimensional cortex managing the whole of the molecules of the body of these creatures. It will make, perhaps part of a later evolution, at the land one, from here 1.000.000 of terrestrial years! However, it is strong to bet that we will not go up to that point. Lastly, at all events, it was the explanation which had formulated me my celestial partner of one evening and I did not have any reason to contradict it.
After these long sexual tournaments, I was in a hurry only one, to turn over in my comfortable home, because I was emptied to the extreme and without force. As soon as the opportunity arose, I thanked more than cordially my partner who seemed saddened by my pressing desire of rest. Appointment counts that this charming extraterrestrial had not tasted with true carnal pleasures since many glosses. It was 9 Hours of the morning, I thus left it frustrated to have some more and I returned towards the collective toilets of the Town hall of Bordeaux, I crossed the hidden door, went along the corridor towards the small dispatching platform, then hastened me to go up in the module available. Arrived at destination, while passing by my garage, I abstractedly cherished my jaguar color green olive which had only twelve unhappy kilometers with the meter and threw me on my bed to connect the hours of sleep until the total repair of my physical capacities…
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!
Long hours were shelled thus. I will ouvrai initially an eye, the other remained irresistibly closed, I tried with sorrow to rise but it was impossible and I decided after each unfruitful attempt to prolong my sleep.
… All the planet had become hostile, a cloud of strongly armed flying saucers fell down on our cities. Multicoloured laser beams tore the night, while tracing on the ground of immense cracks from where fire, the hell and the devils spouted out.
Hordes of wandering dogs cut up all that lived on their passage. There still remained some human under ground. The terrestrial life tried to take again some forces, but the moral one was not there any more. The vivres threatened to miss. One feared the day when should go back to us to surface to feed. And the news which arrived, thanks to the telephone cables still of use, was not amusing. A complete colony the human ones under the town of Puteaux had perished crushed by an underground machine resembling an immense metal ground worm. It was the end, the human race was going to disappear like that, in this black year of 2004 after J-C, because of a corkscrew and fault of food, sun and hope.
An sun ray, through the curtains of my room, again made me open the eyes, according to the indications of my clock alarm digital, we were on Thursday August 19, 2004, it was 14:00, and I had just slept 26 hours!
… I decided, to undertake our first forwarding on the surface with the best men of our thin colony. Armed with shovels, pickaxes and some sticks of dynamite, we progressed slowly in the earth's crust towards the free air. That made already 45 days that we had not re-examined the sky, nor breathed of the fresh air. An immense concrete block, slowed down our heat with the work, it had to be circumvented. The team was completely exténuée, even if we had learned how during these long days from darkness to breathe very slowly and to manage our forces, we must now take again our breath. Marcel more the strapping man of the troop, faithful old companion of hardly 35 years, suddenly left us whereas it threw, for the thousandths time, his shovel on the last cubic meters of ground which separated us from the sky.
It was a beautiful day, I finally went to awake…
Our last blows of shovels were desperate, but the proximity of our final objective and intoxication to breathe of the fresh air, multiplied by ten the ultimate forces which remained us. It is Manuel, youngest among us, who was pleased to open the first breach. The sunlight filled up all the sky, it returned to us plug a few moments. It was the full day on ground…
Multiple stripes of dazzling clearness brightened the walls vis-a-vis my window and while penetrating in my room, this same plugging light, finally completed to awake me. I was in superb form, I had slept 44 Hours almost consecutively. The weather was extremely nice outside because I foresaw the major blue of the sky through the transparent semi nets curtain of my window of room.
Of my bed, I intended Ragnagna to apostrophize poor Chouny severely.
“Looks at to me that, large disgusting person, you ace still reversed your pitance on the sawdust!”
“And you, you saw yourself when you make wheel… One would say a potato germinated in a drying machine!”
Two meters obviously separated from now on the cages from my two rodents, still enthusiast one of the other. I had not been mistaken in their offering a little independence. Their nights were definitely calmer, for them as for me besides. From here a few days I will give them together, for one night, in their bridal cage in order to ensure the bare essential hygienic one.
“Asshole!”
“Bitch!”
The life had taken again its rights and me, I jumped merrily of my bed to benefit from a reinvigorating shower and to forget this strange dream.
It is said sometimes that the dreams are premonitory!
Kindness of vicinity
Rubbed, glossed and scented like a new penny, I decided to extract me from the home to go to the news of the face. The family of the complete hamsters potinait télépathiquement with appointed postal and telecommunications authorities, a pleasant young person-woman of Malagasy origin, with the harmonious and muscular body, always extremely coquettement put. Since the blockade, we had a tacit agreement with the occupying army, our factrice could only move in the residence to deposit there the parcels and mails of the day. Which, of course, be having screened detectors by the dedicated fort occupying. It was it which revealed us the anecdotes lived outside our rebellious microcosm, by the villagers of our village and beyond. It was obviously not with the current of our tunnels and our almost daily exits.
Whereas I dealt to extract with the forceps the contents with my letter-box, I heard all the discussion around the assembly which was only with a few meters of me. Thus the army of the Uncle Sam requisitioned the houses around for the lodging of its rangers the most graded. Many families gave up temporarily their good with the occupant so much those were ill-mannered louts, coarse and threatening. Others had not wanted to abdicate in front of the enemy. It was the case of our baker and a teacher of the primary education. The families which agreed to leave their goods to the enemy of occupation were placed free by the French State in sumptuous apartments of the public domain, these same as the ministers and other elected officials occupied at the year in the department. I also learned, that a small spy plane, that the tanker helicopter and that a military satellite had been destroyed by the mini-missiles of our batteries to the proton. With regard to the tanker helicopter, I did not have any difficulty of including/understanding it, after analysis, we were saw that all the food that it deposited us, contained significant amounts of tétrodétoxine according to the various analyses which we had made carry out by an independent laboratory of Bordeaux.
I still learned, but this time of the mouth of my dear resistant companions, that an immense magnetic field and invisible made from now on inviolable the airspace above our houses, and extended to the ground such glass from a ball with snow, celebrates memory kitsch our childhood. This new process of self-defence definitely more peaceful had received the unanimous downstream of the families which populated our small island of irreducible. A breach, of a few square meters, in this field of force was allowed for the visitors authorized the entry of our residence. For this purpose, a large buzzer red had been placed at disposal of those as a bell with the mention “Support-there to enter - probable Selection”! Consequently, all our batteries with the proton and our light artillery, become useless, secretly had been téléportées and laid out in strategic places of the town of Bordeaux, in only one night and without no being of our residence being physically committed there. It was obvious, here, that our extraterrestrial friends were there for something.
“Mr Coeurmit, how are you?” Mrs Mesnard launched me who united at the small committee. A quite pretty person my faith, always courtement vêtue and in let us tons chatoyants. It raised a hair flashie systematically, so much so that it had been believed that it always carried the festive wig. It was also vainest of the ladies of these places and wore only clothing very tendencies, and sometimes even, of Sonia Rykiel or the John Galliano.
“Always similar, dear Madam! I revise tear off foot for the Question emission for a champion”. Perhaps I will be likely to be convened before the end of the year! It was one of the rare people to be not very indicated upheavals concerning our small district. This Lecturer single person “at the university of Paris VIII” had two infants and did not release itself that seldom for our briefings so much it was taken by her research. As it had neither animals, nor companion and even less television, all that indifférait it passably. It was however, sufficiently intelligent to apprehend the problems and to have an precise idea of our astonishing situation by glanant some information in conversations with its closer neighbors.
“As I had already said it to you, it would be so much easier with a game partner… Your revisions would be more effective, thus pass to the house to see me, I always have a few minutes of freedom around 3 p.m. at the time of the nap of small. And since we are confined in this foutue forty in residence, I hope to even to have you to dine very soon!” It without the least hesitation and with a bit of pretended unconsciousness launched me”.
I answered him that the offer appeared tempting to me and that I will not fail to accept his invitation in the current of the week. It was indeed a very good day…
A quite heavy secrecy…
By sorting my mail, I located a letter with the seal of the Elysium, Cheerac, my regretted doggie, become 3eminence grise wrote to me.
“Dear Maître, dear Coeurmit,
Since the arrival on ground of our two attaching extraterrestrial, the events precipitated. I assume, as you know it, of the functions of high responsibility, as well at the national level as international. I then to say you, from the start, that I regret bitterly these years of unconcern at your sides where I played baballe innocently, with the slobbery curio and the pretences brawls. Moments of pure happiness which will be registered forever in my memory.
But, here the object of my epistle.
102 nations of all the continents, are about to ratify a common plan for the future of the more high importance. We posed like basic principles, the disappearance of all nationalisms in the countries signatories. Suppression of all the military budgets of offensive nature. The pooling of the natural resources, like their equal share, pareillement for our technological soldier and their respective financings. Other secondary measurements, like the harmonization of laws of the taxations or of the family will follow or, incidentally, the prohibition of the port in public of any too connoted identity clothing or sign ostentatiously religious because creative of conflict polarity in the companies, but there is not my matter.
We have need for you, dear Maître, for a post office of the more high importance, that of “Minister for Alliance” in charge of the diplomatic relations between our project of alliance and the representatives of the still recalcitrant countries to see their autonomy at this point reduced. Among these countries to be convinced, the USA, certain European nations, Saudi Arabia and China appear.
This mission is well heard capital for the future of our planet and humanity. To motivate you in your decision, I deliver a secrecy to you of which we are not from now on the two single land agents. Very painful events, let us say even catastrophic, currently take place in various populated galaxies of life comparable with our human civilization. I could observe those, of close, in company of our two extraterrestrial friends. Our destiny as land from now on is counted and our only chance of survival is to quickly join together all the lifeblood of this planet in the possibility of stage, with the maximum of success, with a major humane catastrophe, even in the worst case, the disappearance of any life on Earth. For this purpose, I placed at the disposal of the country signatories scientific and technological documents which improve the effectiveness of the current military transmissions, as well as other new technical things improving the detection of the air movements and increasing our forces of self-defence.
Your devoted Cheerac”.
Affublé of an IQ of 260 and disproportionate knowledge thanks to the assiduous frequentation of this “Matrixhumanoïd”, I was proud way in which my dog “wrote”. But the joy of receiving news of my Cheerac was of short duration so much the content of its remarks left me dubitative. I reconsidered with aimed nightmarish this night. This bad dream would it be really premonitory?
An weighty argument…
Whereas I officiated in my role of good father of family while blaguant with Chouny and Ragnagna.
“Coeurmit could you add us some delicacies, please?”
Ragnagna used its telepathic voice mélodieuse when it wanted urgent to satisfy.
“The night was long, we lack force” Ajouta Chouny of an accessory air.
It was perfectly useless to say it to me, with the sight of their mines and of the state of the bridal cage, I knew that it had been their principal occupation. Indeed, each one of my small rodents had its own cage and I released an access towards a large common cage, only on their joint request. They raffolent dried fruits and small aubergine cubes, here which will make very well their deal for the menu of today.
While I worked with the meal of the rodents, the chime of my gate in solid oak, started to outline the first notes of the new tube of Emma Maudas, an artist currently sails very about it.
I threw a very furtive eye by the window of the kitchen. The President of the United States, himself, gesticulait in all the directions against my gate. Apparently, it seemed to be a gone up hair. As usual, the driver had left his limousine to extension like an idiot in full roadway, preventing any operation of vehicles around.
“Open your door to You, bouffor of frogs?
- That goes, that goes, I arrive!
- What can I for you Majesté?
- Is necessary that one causes…”
He gaillardement crosses the threshold of the door which is next to my living room, accompanied by only one development carrying religieusement an attach3e case black, and followed by a personality of Chinese origin considering his uniform and his characteristic dye. It assied nervously opposite me.
“Open the case, Georges!”
There were several multicoloured indicators and in the center a large red button raising the drawing of the mouse fetish of Walt-Disney. I immediately adored his very personalized bag!
- You see this red button?
- Yes Sir, that with small Mickey? I made filled with wonder!
- You are always also funny, you them French!
- I have to only support above and Bang! A rain of atomic bombs falls down on France! It continued by making great gestures of deaf person or deaf person.
- Good Ah!?! I tried to appear more moved possible, but I felt a large burst of laughter to attack me. It did not have time to explode, my spirit had already zappé by reminding the last words pronounced by our two pleasant extraterrestrial “do not fear anything, we control the situation…”.
- But why do you address yourselves to me?
- Stop finasser Mr Coeurmit, we are not in a televised show and my patience has limits!
It should be said to you that since strong a long time, I was the easy prey of fine jokes, more or less relative to famous Kermit of Muppet' S Show.
- I leave at the moment the Elysium and they is well you it minister of this new Alliance. A roof for a country as ridiculous as France!”
Public relations…
Damned, I was uncovered, my diplomatic functions even took effect at this moment.
“A small pirn of Coke, Sir? I tested, suddenly invested in my new attributions.
- A small Cognac… Made, like only one man, mixing their enthusiastic voices, their finger pointed on the potion of the same name which trônait behind the pane of my bar.
- Certainly and with pleasure! It is of Napoleon Out of age, high and bottled by a small famous producer of Charentes.
The hostilities were repercussions suddenly, the room temperature corresponded to that which my barometer thermometer indicated: 19 degrees Celsius - Good shape.
- You would not have rillettes and foie gras? Made me the President junior, obstructed apparently a little and of the end of the lips.”
I had apparently gained my first diplomatic battle and I moved, of an ensured step, towards my reserve of the owner, that of the special occasionss. Knowing to have gastronomical provisions for a long seat, I drew up on the large table of the living room, two beautiful pieces of Farigoulette, a bread cracking and delicious like a delicacy, a large pot of rillettes of Mans, whole foie gras of goose makes house of the area of the Batch, the famous bottle of Cognac Out of age which I had brought back of Holy and a beautiful fresh water jug.
A religious silence reigned during this small impromptu collation. Satisfaction was general and I had the situation in hand well. Such an amount of success as of my the first ten minutes of negotiation, here which was promising.
“I would take a small Serious red well?”. Chinese, the knife again with the attack of my family pot of rillettes exclaimed. Knowing my cellar on the end of the fingers and helped by my new neuronal capacities, I asked my interlocutor if he preferred, a Castle of Fieuzal 2001, or a Castle Villa Bel Air in year 2000. One of those would make wonder on such an occasion argued I!
“Fieuzal!” with eagerness Chinese answered.
The President junior had made use three times of my Charente-native elixir, had largely tasted Fieuzal. The stomachs and the palates were satisfied, the conversation was going to be able to begin again, I had a presentiment of it with the mines of my hosts who darkened gradually.
Not so easy to handle the art of the diplomacy!
Chinese essuya the blade of sound laguiole out of wood of olive-tree using one of the paper napkins availability of my guests. Then, it made in the same way on commissures of its mouth of a slow gesture and meticulous person. Lastly, like giving courage, it finishes its glass of Serious red of a precipitated gesture and broke the first the gastronomical truce.
“Mr Coeurmit, you are an interlocutor of quality, you will be able to include/understand our distress”. It was expressed in a very suitable French and without the least hesitation. I guessed easily, to listen to it, that it had had to follow French studies of a very good level or that it appreciated the French literature enormously.
“What this new alliance can have the exceptional one well?” It continued.
I was with the foot of the wall, the answer which I was going to formulate was determining for the credibility of the project to defend. Initially, I decided to advance with the inspiration and in the most total improvisation, with economic and budgetary arguments.
“Know it to You, all the nation's economies are on the knees with some rare exceptions. The budget deficits are always in progression. It is urgent to reorientate our public finances. The misery of the third world ruins million individuals in our rich alleged countries. We must think of giving up our moyenâgeux operating processes completely. Our borders are illusory today and anachronistic and the worst, it is that our nation's economies persist in this aberration. The only solution, you know it, resides in the pooling of the resources of planet, in the equal share of those and especially in the final abandonment of any affected budget to the construction and the deployment of the offensive weapons as well as the final setting with the wall cupboard of the national armies and of some international authorities without much interest and inevitably pits with dough. These appropriations will be definitely more advantageous to create fabrics economic or for the planetary rebuilding, in particular by affecting them in the treatment of pollution which disturbs our climatic balance…”
Their mines did not seem to slacken and the faces progressively darkened my impromptu speech.
“Coconut Salts…! One hardly has just finished some with the Communists that you reserve already new handbook to us socialo. You believe sincerely that the Stalinist modes of Cuba and the North Korea are still models with a future?” made the President junior by typing fist on my beautiful tablecloth of Sunday. The Chinese carried out, at this time, a grimace scornful while looking in skew the President of the United States almost purplished of anger. Alas, it was now indubitable that my small tirade had not rained and all had the air completely catastrophe by this speech.
“Reassure you, Dear President, the identity geographical and historical of the countries will be preserved, the market economy and freedom to undertake will be maintained. They are only public finances and those of the international authorities which will be reorientated”.
I knew that the sacrifices were going to be much more radical, but the pill was to pass because the room temperature and that of my interlocutors climbed dangerously towards the red.
Heat Marcel…
“The disappearance of the states as egoistic or envieuses national entities of its neighbors will have to be carried out one day or the other, it is the future of this planet which depends on it…”. By taking my most solemn air, I tried to slip this philosophical thought and I observed their reactions…
“In addition, this financial manna will be quite useful collectively to devote us to discovered other accessible horizons for the man, that is to say in this galaxy or others…”. Without their leaving time to answer I coupled on this pleasant suggestion.
“We live since millenia on interregional armed conflicts, it would be time to turn the page. This violence is primarily due to existence of nations to interests divergent which clashes for mining resources, which clash in the hope to extend beyond their borders, covet the historical richnesses their neighbors or for religious ideas specific to the nations themselves and with their history. We must draw a final feature on these immature behaviors. The future of human and the destiny of this planet begin today and it is you who must decide some at the moment even”.
I continued in my impetus…
“You also could note, with the teaching of the many catastrophes caused by the climatic disordered states, that our planet suffers and that it would be time to work in concert to bring radical solutions there”.
Then, I reminded the mail of yesterday and the letter of my dear Cheerac.
“There is also, information even more decisive than I must reveal you as of now. Our very sophisticated materials detected a threat imminemment serious which would come from space and to cure it effectively, it is necessary that we put all our joint energies quickly. This danger is of scale since it relates to the whole of terrestrial humanity without any distinction!”.
I had completed to launch my scud diplomatic and I awaited their answers impatiently. The President junior seizes the Cognac bottle, made use of it a generous amount and transmitted it to the Chinese who was not made request.
“Thus, if I include/understand your reasoning well, you would like to see the American people replacing his GI and its deterrent force by pink puppets in tutus and customized flying saucers “Welcome Strangers”?
I liked this President of the United States, it had a way of being expressed very picturesque and I could guess without sorrow which its identity took root in deep America that it represented admirably.
“And you, Mister the Ambassador, that do you think about it? ” the President launched to Chinese.
“Never the Empire of the medium will not be devoted to such idiocies! Our nation has an immense cultural heritage to which we hold and our economy does not suffer from any the tares described in your lamentable speech!” The Chinese overbids, who in fact was neither more nor less than the Ambassador of China in station in France since about fifteen years!
“You know frog at the bottom of a well always believes that the sky is not larger than a tire of car… It is a Chinese proverb which applies perfectly about us!”. Rétorquais I, before a thick reddish veil invades my last thoughts.
END OF THE PROLOGUE
The blue color always suits me to charm!
My members were maintained by an invisible force, only my eyes had preserved a capacity of movement. I was lengthened on a mysterious matter which diffused a light bluish veil all around me, the remainder of the cockpit bathed in a yellowish half-light. I clearly distinguished five other resting places identical to the mien, because I guessed without sorrow the other bluish domes.
How had I arrived in this place? I did not have any memory of it… I remained a few minutes to excavate my memory, but it seemed to remain fixed with the episode of my last discussion with the President of the United States and its small committee.
The bluish veil which surrounded me dissipated gradually while my body went down a few centimetres slowly, my members took again life little by little. I pus to sit me on the metal plate which had been used as support with my invisible mattress and to throw a circular glance in the part. I noted that the five resting places were identical to the mien and that they consisted of a large smooth block and sinks dug on the four edges of the same incurvation. Those were always in activity, the bluish veil which overhung their body prevented me from distinguishing the people who rested there, it was necessary, for that, that I approach. The bodies floated in light weightlessness above their metal structure. The part described a light arc of circle and measured approximately a dozen meters on four. It comprised two other resting places unoccupied and decontaminated on my left. All at the end of this room, little coloured neon drew contours of what seemed to me to be a door. I posed my feet on the ground and directed me towards the first resting place on my line. By leaning me slightly, I live there, wide and inert the President Cheerac (the homonym of my dog). On the other resting place, there was a charming young woman, with sunk hair, of about thirty years which was completely unknown for me. On the third, the President of the United States rested in person who had fallen asleep like a baby, the inch in the mouth, it was touching! The following was occupied by two personalities of Chinese and Arab origin, which were also unknown for me. After me to be moved near each one, I left them there, all the five, to take again their spirits and I decided to direct me towards the door which I had seen with my alarm clock.
“Hello Mr Coeurmit! You slept well?” The voice seemed to come from the door itself, more exactly, of the top of this one. I was touched per as much attention, but lack of distributed and dumb man of amazement, I continued to advance, stupefied, when an opening occurred with my feet, to be completed instantaneously with forty centimetres above my eyes. I again took some steps in front of me, to find me in an imposing circular corridor with the dominant colors yellow and black. It was much more luminous than the small preceding part. Every ten meters of the kinds of panels posted same information:
“Cryptonados II
J: 45
T: 3.158
P: 633”
The statistical data decreased slowly…
